Tuesday, April 01, 2008

The Smiths: The Queen is Dead. She will be after reading this

Actually nothing to do the seminal album by Morrissey et al...

Cracking April Fool from high-end hotel aggregator Mr & Mrs Smith.

Her Majesty the Queen (for it is she) will turn Buckingham Palace into a luxury hotel this year.

In a move that will shock traditionalists, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II today announced that Buckingham Palace, the official residence of the British monarchy since 1837, will open its doors in October this year to paying hotel guests. Mr & Mrs Smith, the London-based boutique-hotel specialists, will handle all bookings.

An entire wing of the iconic 18th-century building, designed by architect John Nash, will be given over to what will, from this summer, be known as The Royal Windsor Palace Suites. A consortium behind this radical new concept is currently talking to renowned hotel designers – including, it is rumoured, Philippe Starck, Tom Bartlett and Terence Conran – about providing the decor for this enviable project.

‘We’re aware that many will be surprised by Her Majesty’s decision to open up a wing of her London residence,’ says Royal Press Secretary Oona Abrillo. ‘But, in the light of recent events, she feels that the time is right to do so.’

‘Princes William and Harry are particularly concerned about the role of royalty in the 21st-century,’ says one source close to St James’ Palace. ‘And, what with Al Fayed’s conspiracy theories, the Labour government using the issue of royal taxation to drum up votes and Prince Harry’s forced withdrawal from Iraq being seen as a PR stunt by a cynical public, they are determined that the Windsors should not be seen as remote and untouchable.’

James Lohan, managing director of Mr & Mrs Smith – which has proudly added the ‘By Royal Appointment’ shield to its logo – is delighted to have won the contract to deal with the bookings for what will be the most upmarket B&B of them all. ‘We’re overjoyed to be working with Her Majesty on this project,’ he says. ‘Our American clients, in particular, are very excited about the prospect of a weekend in the Palace.’

Both Mr & Mrs Smith and Buckingham Palace are keeping exact details of the project under wraps for the moment, but it is believed that activities available will include corgi-walking in the Palace gardens, a day with the horse guard and cosy tea-and-Q&A sessions with the likes of Princess Anne, Freddie Windsor and Camilla Parker Bowles.
And the sign-off...

Kevin May, editor, Travolution

Hat tip: Les Explorers

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